Online Memorial Service Jan 3, 2001

[Transcript]

CD Debbie: Welcome everyone, and thank you for joining us in this celebration of life. Before we begin, we’d like everyone to light a candle, in memory of our friend, Jackie. Let’s show her the glow in Heaven and let her know that she lives on in our hearts.

As we light our candles, we’d like to share a poem that was written for Snowdaughter by her dear friend, Eve:

This candle sits beside my desk.
Whenever I see it I say a special prayer.
For a friend of ours who we all hold dear.
I pray she is given comfort and peace.
I pray he holds her close and takes away her fear.
I say another prayer for the one who gave her life.
This angel we call Vashti. For her I ask for strength.
This candle is a symbol of what we all hold dear.
It has three flames that burn so bright.
Each one has a name. Snowdaughter, Vashti and Noah.
Light a candle for Snowdaughter & say a special prayer.
While your at it, light a couple more.

Today after a long struggle with Celiac Sprue an angel got her wings. So seldom in life has one person touched so many, but then again, there is only one Jackie.

Jackie’s introduction to Cyberdiet was through supporting her mother, Vashti, in her journey to shed weight, but it quickly became more. She fast became a cheerleader to everyone.

It seems like no matter when you met Snowdaughter, no matter how long you knew her, she touched you. Her strength, compassion, teachings, and humor has left a mark on so many and will live on forever. Everyone has walked away better for knowing her.

“Breathe in…breathe out.” “Life only happens when you participate!”
“Be alive to this minute. If you aren’t, you are dead already.”
“There is no cap to success. The jury’s out until your last breath.”

Words of wisdom from someone who not only said them, but lived them.

In her mother’s own words “Every human being is a remarkable creation, unique among all the world.”

Yep. Snowdaughter would agree with that whole heartedly.
We all agree too Snowdaughter.
With much love,
The Cyberdiet Community.

We now invite each of you to take a turn to share your thoughts and memories. We’ll begin with LauraMich.

LauraMich: Before I start…I want to share that I have a “special” candle lit, too, as others have — it has a special mirrored dome so that when the candle is lit, it looks like it goes on for infinity. That seemed appropriate for tonight, for Snow….

Even though Snowdaughter only got Internet access about a year ago, she has been a part of our community for so much longer. I’ll have so many memories of Vashti’s stories, and Snowdaughter’s own posts and snowballs…

But the one I’ll treasure most is from the Millennium chat and being present when Snow was able to ring in the year 2000 with Vashti — a year doctors once predicted she’d never see.

It is also because of Snow that I became a regular blood donor again, after seeing how blood transfusions saved Snow’s life on several occasions. I’m eligible to donate again in a few weeks, and I plan on making a special trip to the Red Cross in honor of Snow. I would like to encourage everyone who is eligible to consider giving this special gift of life, in honor of someone who was so profoundly special.

Blessings to the newest angel, and blessings also to Vashti, Noah, and Don. Remember — we’re always here to help you cry. ((((((HUGS)))))

Vashti: Thank you so very much LauraMich.

Diane: I was so moved to learn of Snow and her struggle-not only this but all that had happened in her life, and all that she overcame. She came over to Attitude Central quite often. She would wing in and impart her love, and humor and wisdom and “snowballs.” I remember a couple of times when she just got home from the hospital and would come in. “Live life to the fullest….” She was that to me, even though I never met her. She lived life, was life and now is life eternal. Vashti and Noah and Don-what a special family you all are! I hold all of you in my heart.

Vashti: Thank you Diane. 🙂

LoriF: There are people in this world who I feel are “Life Teachers.” I believe that Jackie was one of those people. She taught me about the strength of the human heart, and what it can accomplish. For allowing me to learn what she had to teach, I will be forever grateful to her, and will remember her always. Thank you Snow, for allowing me to be touched by such a remarkable spirit.

Vashti: (((LoriF)))

Mindy: I didn’t know Snowdaughter as well as most of you did, but she was always so positive even when I knew she must be in pain. She was one of a kind. She taught us ALL how to be champions!

JudithG: I really do not want to wax philosophic, but I say that if you are alive, you have got to flap your arms and legs, you have got to make a lot of noise, because life is the very opposite of death. And therefore, as I see it, if you are quiet, you are not living. You have got to be noisy, or at least your thoughts should be noisy and colorful and lively. Those words from her have a great impact on me, as she did. As I lit my candle I know we will be noisy and Snowdaughter will hear us.

Vashti, know that Snowdaughter is in her wings and throwing her snowballs. Please know you, Noah and Don are in my prayers.

Noah: I would invite you to read my “THOUGHTS AT TWILIGHT TIME” from this evening. I write of Jackie’s legacy. From this evening’s essay I can boil down “Jackie’s legacy” to these words: “Live now! Live in this instant, because you will never have this instant again! And love. Love everyone as God loves you, for, in truth, you are the Love of God! Live! Love! That’s all there is to it!”

Tamara: I knew Vashti as soon as she came to Cyberdiet. I then heard of Jackie. I thought I’d write her and send her some Frookies. Boy I was in for a surprise! Jackie and I talked on the phone many times at home and in the hospital. She made a very big impact on me and I feel the loss of a very good friend. Vashti, Noah, Don you all know what I can’t say into words here. I love all of you and will truly miss Jackie.

Daria: I didn’t know Snowdaughter, but I don’t think you had to know her to feel her remarkable presence. Thus I am reminded of a saying that goes as such “God does not measure us by the size of our heads, but by the size of our hearts,” and so I wonder if there is anything big enough to measure Snowdaughter up there in Heaven. May God bless you and guide you gently through your grief (((((((((Vashti and Noah)))))))))

Zookeeper: Vashti, Noah and Don….. I want to say first how saddened I feel for you as I know how you feel. Snow had sent me warm messages to ease our pain when I lost my mom this past spring and again when my boyfriend lost his brother just a few weeks ago. I feel like I have lost a sister. I just received a Christmas card from Jackie the other day, and I can’t help but cry reading it. It was so great to bring in the New Year seeing her in chat… what a great surprise…. I am sorry…. I can’t say more right now.. My candle will burn of spiced pear all night in Jackie’s honor!

Kare: I have to share my first thought this morning Vashti … those big bad ___’d wings were done … I’d talked to Vashti some time ago about what Snow meant to us all and the wings she was going to get … big wings … huge glorious wings that no artist could ever capture … that’s how I see her now … oh those wings! Like no other angels! So huge … so strong … they have to be .. she’ll be one mighty busy angel. Only one worry … arms and wings to throw snowballs? We’re in for a mighty splat! Much love and prayers to you all now … I love you Vashti and Noah.

Vashti: Thank you, Kare.

Kris10: Unfortunately for me, I didn’t have the chance to “know” Snow very long – I only came to CD about a month ago. But her story, strength, wit and spirit touched me nonetheless. Her life, and her passing, has brought to me a newfound respect and reverence for life and all their blessings. Heaven is a brighter and more beautiful place tonight. My heart goes out to you ,Vashti, Noah, and Don (((hugs))))

Lydia: Vashti and Noah, I wish I could be more eloquent, but just can’t seem to get an image out of my mind. I I remember looking at Jackie’s face in the photos that you posted on her website, and marveling at the joy in her eyes and in her smile, despite the physical pain that she was suffering on this earth. She was amazing, truly amazing! Now, I can only picture her in Heaven, healthy and a rosy bloom to her cheeks. I can see her resplendent in angel garments, so happy and healthy. I know she is loving Heaven! It is so hard for us here, but she is happy, I know it! Vashti, from one mother’s heart to another….(((Vashti))) The Tell Us Gang….we miss you, and we love you…

Chantal: (((((((Vashti & Noah))))))) I’m so sorry Vashti and Noah – Snowdaughter’s story moved me immensely. My prayers are with you. Vashti – I marvel at the fact she thought she hadn’t done much with her life although I think I know what she may have meant – but she even touched my life.

Vashti: Truly, truly, this is Jackie’s memorial service. I cannot begin to express the depth of the emotional swings this day has brought. Thank you all for helping me cry….

Leanne: I believe that everything that touches our lives is to teach us something whether a tiny insect or the spirit of a human. I know what Jackie was in my life. She was the one that said “continue” she was the one that screamed “don’t fear” she was the one that whispered “move on.” Everytime she made it through another crisis it reminded me that God sometimes gives us another chance to make a difference and everyday she did. I thank Vashti so much for bringing such an amazing spirit to so many people here including myself. She will always be remembered…

Jodes: The first time I went to a Cyberdiet chat room, it was Snowdaughter that welcomed me. I believe she had just come home from the hospital. That’s what she said, but you wouldn’t know it from her attitude. Snow was the spice of life. I am proud to have known such an angel. Vashti, Noah and Don…my heart goes out to you. Please know how much you mean to us all. God bless.

Lora: Hi Vashti, it’s Lora here…I have to put the boys to bed now, but I just wanted you to know that I’m thinking of you. Hugs from Michigan, oh Gal of Sun.

Lisa~32: I didn’t have the pleasure of ‘meeting’ Snow, but I feel I know her well. Everyone speaks SO highly of her. I wanted to extend my deepest condolences to you. ((((((((Vashti,Noah, and Don))))))

eve: Vashti You & Snow already know the thoughts in my heart that my words can not say……. Virginia, you are free baby!!! FLY FLY FLY!!!!! It looks like it may be later than this springs ferry ride up to AK that I get to “See” you but ya know I see you right now. I see you in all this love and tears and joy and release… It has Snowdaughter on and through out it… So know we will get over the sadness and peace from your peace will set in on us, don’t you worry… Mom will be ok….she will….. Fly Fly Fly… I Love You Snowdaughter!

Though I know and am happy she is at peace, I will miss her way of making our dramas and struggles things that will only make us stronger. But I will miss most her laugh and the funny talks on the phone. Her stories!!! Oh man, she had some good ones! We would talk about Harleys, dogs and that ferry ride from Seattle to Alaska I have dreamed of and was going to take this spring. I was always so surprised how great she sounded. But that was just her amazing spirit coming through the phone. No one has ever touched so many peoples lives PERSONALLY that I know, than she.

Cyndi: Vashti, you know that I love you and that my heart is breaking… I am so lucky that I have known you in person. What you and Jackie and Noah have brought to this site defies description. I am so sorry that Jackie did not make this another miracle, but this whole thing has been a miracle. I am not usually at a loss for words, but this is one of those times…

Brianne: I just wanted to express a little bit of what I’m feeling. Part of Snow will always stay with each person she touched, and especially come forward when we’re possessed by an urge to throw a snowball. Let’s all remember to keep throwing snowballs for Snowdaughter, whether they be real or virtual. **Warm fuzzy hugs to Vashti, Noah, Don, and each and every one of you.**

An Irish blessing – May the road rise up to meet you: May the wind always be at your back: May the sun shine warm upon your face: May the rain fall soft upon your fields: And until we meet again, May God hold you in the hollow of His hand.

Don: Thank you all for all your support. I can’t express my gratitude…

aarbri: Hi ((((((((((((Vashti, Don, Noah, & Judy (mother # 2) )))))))))))))) I cannot think of anything appropriate to say at a time like this, except I am deeply sorry and my love and prayers are with you all. I am in total shock. Although we were constantly reminded about Jackie’s illness, she just kept bouncing back, never to say a word about her illness or to complain. Her spirits were always high… such courage I wish I had an iota of. Jackie is the true essence of an angel and is deeply loved by all she touched.
(((((((((((((((xoxox Jackie xoxox)))))))))) Guten Nacht Liebe Engel

Belle: Hey everyone. I just checked in and I am so sorry to hear the news. My thoughts and prayers will be with you all. I will light a candle for you tonight.

deeya: I wasn’t lucky enough to get to know Snow, but I’ve been reading about her and believe she was one of the world’s living angels. I have to admit that I never really understood loss until my father passed away 2 months ago and, now knowing, my heart goes out to you. When I went to college, we had a school motto about earning our wings. Snow has earned hers and I believe she will live on, not only in you, but in everyone whose lives she touched while she was alive and in those of us who are only now learning what a truly special woman she was. I hope she will drag my dad into a snowball fight. My thoughts and my prayers are with you all.

Chantal: ((((((Vashti, Noah and Don))))) I learned about Snowdaughter when Noah kindly allowed me to read her story. I’m fairly new here and CD is an amazing world with amazing people in it. Her story so moved me, her strength endless it seemed. The joy she brought to many when they were able to help put together a caring quilt. She was an extraordinary person and is now an extraordinary angel – God bless her, my prayers are many….Chantal

Delta: Don, Vashti, and Noah, just got to CD and found the news. Two weeks ago this would have not surprised me but a few days ago when I talked with her she was feeling so much better. Because of this it really hit me. I am still in shock so I just have no words to express the what I feel right now. I never loved anyone more, yet I never “met” her. I feel that I am alive today because of Jackie. I was going to try to call her tonight. We got cut off the last time we talked and she had already told me not to call back that night to call later when we had more time to talk. We never even got to say good-bye, just the way she would have wanted it. Never say good-bye, say so long, I love you, until later, take care.

Willow: I want Vashti, Noah and Don to know that their wonderful angel Jackie has touched my life deeply. I’d like to ask Jackie to watch over us all and teach us her strength and patience. I’m in awe of all that you have overcome Snowdaughter! Thank you for your inspiration!

Roe: I just want to say that my heart also goes out to you dear Vashti and Noah and Don and Judy. Man I love you all! I remember so many things. The horse rides- the snowballs of course- and the year she got a bunch of turkeys and couldn’t use them for Thanksgiving and cooked them and gave them to people who had none. 🙂 She also sent me the funniest fun pages. I would also think about her when I felt like giving up. When I didn’t feel well. I’d say to myself- What would Snow do? And I’d get up and do it. Just know that I’m here and love you all. I have had Snow in my prayers for so long I can’t remember not praying for her. Go in peace our girl!!

Lish: Vashti and Noah, it has been way too long since I have visited with you. Something has been pulling me to visit more often and just read the posts for inspiration. Jackie has given me an important reminder. Life is too short and we should cherish every moment. I can’t image the pain of losing one of my boys. Isn’t it amazing how one special person like Jackie can touch so many lives? I am in awe of her in life and death. I am sure glad to know that Jackie is watching over every one of us. I find comfort in that. I would just like to say thank you “Snowdaughter.” You will be missed!!!! (((((Vashti, Noah, and Don)))))

Vashti: Thank you all so very, very much for all these happy memories. My daughter was my hero. It’s heartwarming to know that she was a hero to so many others as well.

elinor: This is a letter I wrote to Jackie as soon as I heard the news…

Hey Sis,
I am sitting here in a lesson. I came to school today and decided to check the board. That’s when I saw Mom’s post saying CALL ME. I knew right then and there that something was terribly wrong. Normally I would have waited till I got home and called but I was frantically searching my memory for your number till I found it and called her from the cell phone. Her voice, her “hello” told me everything. Everything I did NOT want to hear. She told me that you were gone and I was acting very strong! But as soon as I hung up I started crying which scared the living heck out of my classmates! Then I could hear you in my head saying “Oh shut up you whiner!” This is what you would tell me – wouldn’t you? I am sitting here staring at the teacher thinking “Why did you go? What will happen with Don? and Gypsy? and Gab? They NEED you!!! I need you, this WORLD needs you!” I will always remember you by that last phone call, the way we laughed!!! Mom said your greatest fear was to die unremembered!! Well Look!!! Look at all the people who LOVE you and MISS you! I instinctively told her that we will not let this happen!!! I love you!

Zookeeper: I want you to know how much I love you and am proud to be a part of this family….. I know Jackie will watch over me tomorrow during my surgery, I have no more fears…… Thank you for this opportunity to say my good-byes.

Belle: Vashti, Noah, and all the others here that will be affected by this, as you know I have only been with Walk Talk for a short time, and honestly, I had no idea of what was going on. I have a candle here in the room with me that I will light in honor of this loss you must feel. My prayers are with you all.

Dana: I didn’t know Jackie quite as well as some of the rest of you but always enjoyed her playful nature and her strength inspite of her illness. I simply wanted to be here tonight to let you all know how very sorry I am for your loss and to let you know how special I think your daughter was. Very strong, very forthright and always a kind word for others.

wickky: Vashti, I just wanted you to know that Jackie’s strength was a source of inspiration to me when I had my stroke in September, and has been ever since. She was an amazing woman, and gave me encouragement when I needed it most. Even when she was not well, she took the time to uplift and carry me. I will always and forever carry her in my heart. I absolutely had to share a memory, shed a tear and say a prayer…my deepest and saddest condolences are with you Don, Noah and Vashti.

Chantal: A word from Sheridan if she hasn’t already been in – she keeps getting booted out of the room and wants to send her condolences to Vashti, Noah and Don….

DebbieC: Vashti & Noah and Don, just wanted to send hugs and prayers your way. I know that Jackie is in His presence! I may not have time to stop by often, but you all have been in my thoughts and prayers.

WillowB: I will feel so blessed if I can touch even one life in the way Jackie touched hundreds. Love & Peace

Roe: ((((((((Vashti))))))) ((((((((Noah)))))))) ((((((((Don))))))))) Love you!!!

JudithG: (((Vashti))) (((Noah))) (((Don))) This has truly been a beautiful memorial service for a beautiful person. Feel blessed to have been part of this awesome evening. Good Night.

Gma: Noah and Vashti, I just stopped by to express my deepest sympathies to you and your family

elinor: I registered two domain names for Jackie – jackies-friends.com and also snowdaughter.com. We will be making her a memorial website and I request that everyone who wants to write to or about her please email me what you have.

Vashti: This has meant the whole world to me. Jackie’s request that there not be a memorial service in Alaska has been honored. She was a very practical person and didn’t think too highly of memorial services. I know that she would love this though, and I’m sure that if there are computers where she is, she is reading along and smiling. This day has been a combination of grief and relief. My grief is that there is this huge hole in my life where my daughter has been for 36 years. Relief that her pain is now over and her struggle won. I hate that she is gone. I hate that she got so sick. I love that she found so many friends all over the world. And I am so very, very proud of her. As an infant she never crawled. She just stood up, then ran. And that was how she took on life. At a dead run.

Noah: Thank you all for this wonderful memorial service this evening. I feel so humbled and so honored to be a member of this Cyberdiet Family. Many of you know that many times I say “Thank you for being right here right now.” Well, THANK YOU FOR BEING RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW. You have made such a wonderful difference in my life. You make such a difference in the world! Cyndi called this a “miracle.” It is indeed! Thank you! Thank you! Each of you are truly a Vessel of Spirit. And each of you ARE a miracle!